Cubs' Column

Well, because of the alarming absence of recent news and rumors surrounding Singer’s upcoming Superman Returns film, I thought what better way to introduce myself, my column, and my intentions on this site than to do a concise recap of what’s been happening the last few weeks regarding just which young Hollywood starlet will get second billing behind Brandon Routh’s Superman as one of comic’s most identifiable female

characters, Lois Lane.

It’s important to note that each and every report will have a special “Crap Meter” attached to each rumor, because as we all know, the internet is both the information super-highway, and the greatest single source of pure, unadulterated, fictitious crap in the

history of humankind. Next to Dr. Phil of course.

LOIS LANE

According to our friends over at Superman-V.com, Singer is actively searching to find the woman who will play the second most critical role in the new series, that of course being Lois Lane. I assume since you’re even bothering to read this column, you are (a) fully aware of just how important Lois is to Clark/Superman, and thus the entire Superman mythos itself, and (b) will not be having sex with a real life woman tonight. In Lois, Clark sees the entire genus of man he has sworn to protect. Singer clearly realizes that the audience needs to be able accept, understand and empathize with just why Superman would fall in love with this specific woman. Because of this, not just any ordinary, average actress will do. Unless of course your first name is Mc, and your last name is G, in which case any pop diva without acting

credentials but a spectacular rack will do.

Apparently, as sources have informed Superman-V.com, the current list of hopefuls includes Lost’s Evangeline Lilly (Singer’s favorite, but unable to accept the role due to her current television commitments, or so the story goes), Blue Crush’s Kate Bosworth, the woman I wish the hot blonde Terminator in T3 caught, Claire Danes, and the stunningly

gorgeous Canadian Elisha Cuthbert.

Admittedly, I’ve only seen Lost a couple of times, but from what I have seen, along with her most recent round of TV interviews, I can think of few women more suited for the role than Ms. Lilly. She is beautiful, has a discernible intelligence in those sparkling eyes, and seems more than able to carry the role as a competent – again, as I’ve seen so far – actress. However, if we are to believe the rumors, it is all but certain she is locked into her contract with ABC, and thus, will not be playing a feisty young reporter

from the Daily Planet.

As for the others, to say I’m disappointed is an understatement. Do I like seeing Kate Bosworth soaking wet in a bikini on a surfboard? Yes, as much as is humanly possible. Would I like to see Lois Lane look 14 years old? Not particularly. Despite the fact that Kate is well into her twenties, and has played more “grown-up” roles since, she still looks way too young in my opinion to play an adult Lois, especially considering the first Singer film is supposedly set to take place a full six years after Superman 2, the first Reeve sequel. While still better than Beyonce (no, I can’t ever forget and forgive McG for this),

the hunt for Lois should definitely not stop here.

Claire Danes? You mean that chick from T3 and Broken Down Palace? Are we thinking of the same woman here?

We are? Damn. Moving on…..

Aside from Lilly, I think Elisha Cuthbert is the one I would have to lean towards (and lean I would if given the chance in person. And by “lean” I mean “lunge and profess my undying love at until her 4 three hundred pound bodyguards kicked the living bejeezus out of me”. Semantics.) Out of this sad and amiss list of actors, Cuthbert arguably brings the most to the role. She is developing quite a name for herself with starring roles in movies like The Girl Next Door, and definitely has the charisma Lois necessitates. However, there’s just something about her that doesn’t scream Lois like Teri Hatcher did in the early days of Lois and Clark. Maybe it’s because many of us believe she is utterly perfect for the role of Supergirl, and having Elisha play any other character in the Superman

universe is an utter travesty.

So, you might be asking, who do I think should ultimately end up playing this central role? Besides the Megasite’s own Shane McNichols, I can think of a few actresses that could bring the proper depth and eminence to Lois. Using what is reportedly Singer’s own criteria of a known, but not superstar, actor for this part, I can offer to my audience a brief list of young women that I encourage everyone to consider and offer feedback in relation to. But, that is going to have to be a different column, as we are desperately short on news, and I need to drag this topic out a little further. Remember, this column is all about

honesty….

In the meantime, please send me your suggestions for Lois, and as always send any news or rumors you hear

floating around cyber space, to

sjets10@yahoo.ca. If your news or suggestions are worthwhile, or you’re a hot chick that has really bad news but a pic of yourself as an attachment, I’ll include you in future

columns.

Insincerely,

Cubs